I get worried and discouraged easily with Kate. We were not educated at all before our first adoption about what things could be involved. Our process was long....almost 4 years. When we switched to special needs we received no additional training. Kate's special need was a simple extra bone in one thumb.....easy.
We knew she could have some "institutional delays," she could be small and need to do catch up growth, and attachment was our main issue.
Little did we know that truly prematurity would be our main issue. She would not display any institutional delays or do any catch up growth. And as far as attachment, it was clear someone had toted her around and kissed her a lot! The doctor at the adoption clinic commented she was more like a Guatemalan foster baby rather than a Chinese orphanage baby.
All that to say I have been in the deep end of the pool holding this kid up for 3 years now. When she makes strides it seems to be in spurts. This week she made some verbal/language or maybe cognitive progress.
One....I have Mitchell put the girls in the van when we go places, while I continue to get ready to go. One day Kate said, "No! Mitchell not do it! I wait here with mommy. Mommy do it. Mitchell go van."
There was no way I was going to refuse that request! The child rarely speaks in entire sentences, let alone tells us what she actually wants.
The second time was she asked me to cut her hair like Quinny's hair. I guess most people would ignore the hair requests of a 4 year old. I figured if bangs mattered enough for Kate to put the words together to ask, then I was good with it!
The best advice I have received is adoption is a marathon not a sprint. When I try to make it a sprint I worry....a lot. When I remember it's a marathon then I see the beautiful girls our daughters are becoming.
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